Changes

August 6, 2010 § 4 Comments

Some people have experiences in life that changes them – whether it’s a death in the family, or just a discovery that changes their outlook on life itself.

For me, it definitely has to be my children’s births.

Especially my daughter’s.

When Daughter was born, I was, of course, over the moon. But I made a decision I never thought I’d later regret.

I gave up my job.

I was a secretary. I had various jobs to do, but loved them all. I felt I was meant to be one, it was my ideal occupation. But, to look after my baby daughter, I gave up the job, as Couch Potato worked full-time.

A short while later, I got a new job – a night job, so that when Hubby came home, he’d be able to look after Daughter, and I’d be able to go out and work for extra money. We didn’t really need it, but I just did it to be able to have a little ‘pocket money’, to go to the hairdressers, or just to buy some clothes that tickled my fancy at the time.

The new job was waitressing.

Sure, it wasn’t as good as secretary work, I knew that, but how was I able to look after Daughter if I was working in an office all day? You may be shouting at the screen “nanny!” or “childminder!” or even “your parents!”, but I didn’t feel that was the best option for her. I didn’t want her to grow up not having spent enough time with me, and more time with someone whom I’d be paying to care.

Of course now, I feel I made the wrong decision.

My daughter isn’t a very independent girl, and I think that maybe if I had hired somebody to look after her, she’d be more independent and less shy. Although I did the exact same with my son, he’s less of a shy person than his sister, for some unknown reason.

I will forever regret quitting my job – maybe if I hadn’t we’d have a better income now.

Then, looking from a different perspective of things, if I’d have done things differently, my children wouldn’t be like they are now. Sure, they might have been a bit more well-behaved, but not the exact same, would they?

This post was inspired by Josie at Sleep is for the weak, a post for her weekly Writing Workshop.

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§ 4 Responses to Changes

  • Queenie says:

    But if you had gone back then maybe you would have regretted that too…don’t beat yourself up. How about looking for something now secretarial but part time? I am in the position where my partner and I are wanting to have a baby in the next year (hopefully) but I have a career and although at the moment I think i’d love to give it up but, as my friends have told me, that all changes once babs comes along. x

  • Or maybe your daughter would have a serious separation anxiety problem now, because she really needed you back then (and still does) and would have suffered if you’d left her with someone else.
    Don’t beat yourself up. You did what felt right in that very moment. It’s the best thing you could do. x

  • I’m with Metropolitan Mum, your daughter needed you and probably still does. We all do the best we can. Hugs.

  • bumbling says:

    Just to say, Moo goes to nursery. She’s very confident there, but when we meet new people, or even people she just hasn’t seen for a while? Clings to my legs. Recites “mummy mummy mummy” over and over again.

    She’s just a shy girl. As I was when I was little (and still am).

    Yes, socialisation is good for kids. But personalities are about more than experiences.

    Who knows how our decisions have impacted upon our kids? But as you say, would you change them for the world?

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